


Caught Feelings

by IBoatedHere



Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Meeting the Parents, One Night Stands, Teacher!Ben, Thanksgiving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 11:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5288219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IBoatedHere/pseuds/IBoatedHere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A one night stand that keeps happening.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Caught Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> My goal was to get this posted by Thanksgiving and since it's after midnight on the East Coast I failed. 
> 
> To be fair it was totally written well before midnight but proofreading and formatting is such a drag. Anyone want to proofread for me? Seriously? It's my least favorite thing. In high school I used to just run the thing through spell check and call it a day. Points off for a missed letter was just something I expected and accepted. 
> 
> Does anyone want to format and post it for me as well? Someone type it for me. I'll just read.
> 
> It's also late because You've Got Mail is on and I have to watch the Civil War trailer every five minutes or I start to shake.

“You’re blind.”

“You’re crazy.”

“I’m telling you he’s interested in you.”

“You think Edmund-.”

“Edmund!” Abe slaps his hand on the bar. Caleb’s glass rattles and he frowns at the childish argument. “I’ve been calling him Mr. Hewlett. I had no idea you were on a first name basis with him.”

“He asked me to call him Edmund.” Anna explains.

“I bet he did. How about how he’s always here?”

“He owns the place.”

“You _own_ the place. He owns the building.”

“He’s checking in on his investment.”

“He’s checking in on you. Caleb, back me up.”

Caleb puts his hands up and shrugs. “He is in here a lot. More than he used to be. And he always looks so disappointed when he doesn’t see you right away.”

“See.” Abe exclaims and Anna looks at him like she’s been betrayed. “Abigail.” Abe continues. “Don’t you think Mr. Hewlett likes her?”

Abigail sets down a tray of empty glasses and rolls her eyes at Abe but when she turns to Anna her eyes soften. “You could certainly do worse than Mr. Hewlett.”

“Not you too.” 

Abigail lifts her shoulder in surrender. “He’s nice. Plus every time he comes in here that creep Simcoe slinks away with his tail between his legs. It’s wonderful.” She looks out over the bar and sighs when she focuses in on a table. “Oh that poor boy.”

They all swivel their heads to see William Bradford leaning on the table that’s currently occupied by a boyish looking young man. 

The man taps his fingers against his glass. He looks annoyed and bored as he slowly turns the pages in one of the books he has spread out on the table. His eyes dart from Bradford to the page and back again. 

It’s obvious that he’s not interested which of course is something Bradford doesn’t pick up on.

“I’m so embarrassed for both of them.” Abe says quietly.

“Why in the world would you feel embarrassed for William Bradford?” Anna asks as she pours a drink and places it on Abigail’s tray. 

“Because he doesn’t realize that kid is not having it.” 

“I can’t believe I’m wishing that Charles were here.” Abigail says before she walks away with a tray full of drinks.

Abe shivers at the thought and Caleb finishes the rest of his drink and hops off the stool.

“I can’t watch this anymore. I’ll take care of it.”

“Go be a hero, Caleb.” He hears Abe say as he walks towards the table.

Caleb gets there just as Bradford starts to pull out the chair opposite of the man. He slides into it a second before Bradford can. The man sits back in his own chair with his arms crossed over his chest- amusement written all over his face. 

Caleb’s taken with his bright blue eyes and five o’clock shadow and it takes him a second to turn to William who’s standing there tapping his foot. 

“Thanks for getting my chair, Billy.” Caleb knows he hates that nickname and delights in the way his mouth pulls into a thin line. “That was real chivalrous of you.”

“It wasn’t for you, you-“

“Isn’t he a bit young for you?” Caleb cuts him off and Bradford flushes red. Caleb laughs and leans over the table to stage whisper to the man across the table. “See, Billy here thinks no one knows about his torrid affair with a much older man. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, technically.” He says quickly. “But the old guy he picked is just the worst. He’s awful.”

It’s the truth. Charles Lee is terrible.

“How is he?” Caleb direct at Bradford. “Is he coming later?”

“That’s none of your business and you rudely interrupted us.”

“It looks like I interrupted you. He wasn’t saying much.”

“Maybe you didn’t give him a chance.”

Caleb sighs and stares across the table. Bradford is forcing his hand. He’s bringing this on himself. “Do you want to sleep with him?” He asks bluntly.

The guy’s eyes go wide. “No.”

“No.” Caleb repeats and nods towards Bradford who looks embarrassed. “See, he’s not interested.” Caleb almost catches some of the sympathy Abe was feeling towards him but truthfully he’s just as bad as Charles Lee. They deserve each other and Bradford needs to learn to stop trying to drag other people into their mess. 

Bradford mumbles an insincere apology towards the man and sends a dirty looks towards Caleb before he sulks off. 

There’s a smattering of applause from the bar. 

“I could’ve gotten rid of him myself you know.” The man says. He’s leaning his elbows on the table again but he’s not looking at the books.

“I’m sure you could have but I thought I might help you along. Bradford can be a little intense.”

“Can I buy you a drink? As a thank you? I didn’t mean to sound unappreciative.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to. Please.”

Caleb looks back towards the bar. Anna is cleaning a glass and Abe has turned around nagging her about something new. Abigail is caught up in a conversation with a group of women at the end of the bar. Their interaction is no longer a spectator sport. 

“Sure.” Caleb agrees. He smiles at the man who gets up and heads for the bar. 

While he’s at the bar Caleb takes a closer look at the books. They’re text books; all having to do with US History. He has them propped open to different time periods; American Revolution, Civil War, Civil Rights Movement. There’s a notebook by the edge of the table with small, precise, handwriting scrawled across it. He’s about to reach for it when a glass of beer is set in front of him. 

“So do you do this often?”

“What?” 

“Scare that guy off?”

“More often than you’d think. More often than I should have to.”

“The guy doesn’t take a hint?”

“You have to be real explicit with him.”

“I’ll remember that for next time.”

“I don’t think he’ll bother you again.”

“Oh.”

“Do you want him to?”

“No, but that means you won’t have a reason to come rescue me.”

That feels like flirting as Caleb takes a long sip from his glass. He’s not sure what to do with it. 

“You know.” He deflects. “There are quieter places to study. A library or a Starbucks. Your apartment.”

The man smiles and hangs his head. “I know. I actually came from the library. I didn’t mean to start all this again. I wanted to relax but I’m so far behind.” He scrubs his hands across his face. “I had all this stuff in my bag.” He kicks at a leather messenger bag that’s leaning against the table leg. “And I figured I should keep going with it.”

“Are you in school?”

“Kind of. I’m a teacher. High school. The year starts in a few weeks and I still have lesson plans to finalize and submit. I went home to visit my dad this summer and it set me so far back.”

“Wow.”

“What?” 

“I just don’t remember any of my teachers looking like you. It’s probably a good thing I guess. I probably would’ve been too distracted to get anything done.”

Now he’s flirting back. 

The guy ducks his head and takes a drink.

“I bet you’ve heard that line before.”

The guy nods but maintains eye contact as he takes another sip. “Yeah, but doesn’t mean I don’t like it.” He’s smiling when he pulls the glass away from his lips and he slides his foot beneath the table and presses it against Caleb. “What do you do?”

It takes Caleb a moment to figure out what he’s asking. 

“I work in IT for an insurance company downtown.”

“Oh. You like it?”

“Oh yeah, of course. I love asking people if they’ve tried turning it off and turning it back on again one hundred times a day.”

“That’s always the first thing I do.”

“Do you make sure all the cords are plugged in and there are no loose connections?”

The guy opens his mouth then closes it and Caleb points a finger at him.

“You’re part of the problem.”

“So you don’t like your job. What would you rather do?”

“You.”

Whoops. 

“Oh well.” The guy is flustered and Caleb feels like an idiot. He’s no better than Bradford. 

Caleb says “Oh god, I’m so sorry.”

At the same time the guy says “Yeah, okay.”

They stare at each other for a horrifying moment and Caleb can’t hear anything except for the blood rushing in his ears. 

“I need some air.” Caleb says as he stands.

“Oh.” He doesn’t hide his disappointment well. “Okay.”

“You’re coming with me.”

“Okay.” 

He grabs the guy’s hand and pulls him through the bar towards the bathroom. No one is watching them. Anna and Abe are talking at the bar and Abigail is putting drinks down on the table in the corner and Caleb can’t even see Bradford anymore.

The bathroom is empty, miraculously, and he pushes the guy into the first stall.

_“Okay. __” He breathes against Caleb’s mouth before he kisses him. It’s chaste and testing, he’s dipping his baby toe into this just to see how the waters are._

“I don’t usually.” Do this, but he doesn’t get to say it because the guy is kissing him back so hard he’s knocked back against the door. 

It is true. For all his big talk and blatant innuendos Caleb is not the type of guy to have an anonymous hookup with in a public restroom and he thought that this guy, with his blue eyes that match is cashmere sweater (that is so soft beneath his hands) and open text books was the same way. He didn’t actually have a plan past getting him in here. He certainly didn’t expect a tongue in his mouth and fingers flicking open his belt buckle. 

The guy kisses down his neck and Caleb’s head thunks back against the stall door. 

“Oh my god.” He whispers and the guy pulls back just enough to stare at him with wide open eyes.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Caleb stutters out. “Yes.” Because yes, duh. It’s been awhile and this semi public frenzied thing is clearly working for him. 

“Okay.” The guy smiles then pulls back more; the only point of contact is his fingertips against the sliver of skin right above the top of Caleb’s jeans. He looks down at the floor then up at Caleb then back down again. 

Caleb leans back against the door and looks up at him.

“I really like these pants.”

Caleb blinks and shakes his head. “What? What?”

“These pants.” The guy whines and shifts from foot to foot. “I like them and they’re clean and the floor is….”

“Oh my god.” Caleb gets what he means. The blush spreads down his neck and disappears beneath his shirt. 

“I mean, I can, if you want, that’s fine.”

“Oh my god.” Caleb grabs him by the belt loops and pulls him back in. “Whatever you want, whatever you want, I don’t even care, just whatever you want, just c’mere.” He rambles and the guy laughs, an honest, full body laugh and Caleb’s knees go weak.

“Well, okay then.”

It’s a blur. 

Its unfamiliar fingers untucking his shirt and fumbling around his zipper and the guys hand is too warm and soft and it’s not long before Caleb is moaning way too loudly. 

“Shhhhh.” The guy laughs but his hand is still moving and his lips are attached to the side of his neck and the thought of getting caught sends a thrill through Caleb.

It’s too much.

It’s over way too quickly but Caleb is too blissed out to care. 

Caleb keeps his eyes closed and breathes out heavily through his nose. When he finally opens them the guy is staring back, wide eyed and alarmed and Caleb has no idea what to do. He wants to lift his hands to the guy’s waist, pop open the button and slide the zipper down but his hands won’t move. Nothing will. His entire body weight is slumped against the door. 

“Umm.” His voice is hoarse and wrecked. He desperately needs a drink. He’ll stick his head beneath the faucet at the sink if he has to.

The guy licks his lips and Caleb tracks the movement. He’s still a little lightheaded. 

“I’ve never done anything like this before.” The guy blurts out. 

Caleb shakes his head. “Me neither but…”

“My stuff.” The guy says as he shoves at Caleb’s shoulder until his twists his body away from the lock. Then he’s yanking the door open and flying out of the bathroom, the door banging shut behind him. 

Caleb leans forward with his hands on his knees and takes several deep breaths before he can finally calm down. 

The guy and all his stuff is gone when he reenters the bar room. The table is clean and the chairs are pushed in. 

Caleb takes off too. His tab is still open; he’s pretty sure Abe is using it and Anna is letting it happen but he doesn’t care. 

He goes home, showers, drinks two glasses of water with three aspirins and slips beneath the covers. 

That’s that.

That’s what a one night stand is. You hook up and part ways and you hope you never have to see the other person again. You don’t start a real relationship under those kinds of circumstances. Not that that’s something Caleb evens wants. He’s not looking for anything serious and he hasn’t been for awhile. Nothing has stuck. He needs to take some time to figure out what- if anything- he wants. He needs to go slow. What happened is the exact opposite of slow. 

So he tries to forget about it. He moves on and acts like it never happened. It’s not hard to do. It’s not like he has to work at avoiding the guy. He hasn’t seen him before and he probably never will again. It’s a big city. There’s plenty of space for them to live their lives without a second meeting. 

It works out for him for a few weeks. Until he sees a guy that vaguely resembles him on the street and he follows him for five blocks out of his way before he realizes his mistake. 

He decides that casually asking about the guy wouldn’t cause too much harm. 

The bar is almost empty. Anna is cleaning glasses and Abigail is flipping through a magazine a few feet from Caleb. 

Caleb moves over a stool to get closer to her. She pretends not to notice. 

“Hey.”

She sighs and turns the page.

“Abigail.” 

“It is quiet for the first time in forever. I’m pretty sure this is the first break I’ve gotten since I started working here. Can you please let me have this?”

“I don’t want anything. Not really. You don’t have to get me anything. I just want to talk.”

“Oh.” She narrows her eyes. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Do you….well….it was a couple of weeks ago and…..I was just wondering.” He starts and stops and spins around on the barstool. 

“This is not a good talk.”

“Do you remember-” He starts off loudly and Anna looks up. He gives her a half wave then hunches his shoulders and drops his voice to just above a whisper. “Do you remember the guy that was in here a few weeks ago, two and a half weeks ago that Bradford was aggressively and embarrassingly trying to hit on and I went over there and chased him off?”

“Kind of. He had a whole bunch of books on the table?”

“Yes!” That’s too much emotion. “Yes. That’s him.” He tries to be more subdued. “That’s him.”

“What about him?”

“I was just wondering if you’ve seen him since then.”

“I saw the two of you talking.” She smiles wide. “Did you hit it off?”

“You could say that. We kind of did more than just talk.”

Abigail pokes at his arm. “Did you bring him back to your place?”

Caleb shakes his head.

“You go back to his place?”

Caleb picks at the label on his beer.

“The back of a cab?”

Caleb shakes his head again and Abigail looks distressed. 

“Here?” She screeches.

“Shhh. Don’t act so scandalized. We made it to the bathroom.”

“That bathroom?”

“Quiet, please.” He hisses. “Why do you care? You never in there.”

“Still, Caleb, the bathroom? You’re better than that, aren’t you?”

“I know. I’ve never done anything like that before and I wasn’t planning on it but he was hot and interesting and he was thankful that I saved him from Bradford”

“And you decided you needed to say you’re welcome?”

“It is the polite thing to do, Abby.”

“Yes, and you’re Mr. Manners doin’ it in a public restroom.”

Caleb shrugs. “One minute we were just talking and the next I was grabbing his hand and he was following me and he had his hand-.”

“Whoa. Okay, I don’t need a play by play.”

“I had never done anything like that before and I honestly wasn’t planning on it but one thing led to another and he was…” He takes a deep breath and Abby raises an eyebrow and leans her elbow on the bar. She might not want a play by play but she certainly looks interested. “Relentless. But after we….I” He clears his throat. “Finished.”

“Ugh.”

“He looked totally freaked out, said he was worried about his stuff and took off. By the time I got my shit together he was long gone.”

“And you don’t know his name?”

He shakes his head. “He doesn’t know mine either but I just keep thinking about him. He hasn’t been in? Are you sure?”

“I haven’t seen him. You could ask Anna or Abe.”

“No. They can’t know. I’m serious. You see how much Abe tries to butt in with Anna and Hewlett. This is a lot more embarrassing. I’d never hear the end of it. Can you just keep an eye for him and text me if you see him? I don’t want anyone else to know.”

“Sure, Caleb. I’ll keep it to myself.” She goes back to the magazine. “Do you think he needs a code name so we can talk about him without them knowing?”

It’s not a bad idea. 

Two weeks later Caleb’s living one of the worst days of his life. It turns out saying up late drinking and playing poker with Abe, Robert, and Selah probably is the best idea on a Sunday night when he has work in the morning but it was a nice distraction from thinking about his missed connection. He hasn’t heard anything about him from Abigail which means that he probably hasn’t come back into the bar. 

Of course he’s paying for it now. He’s three blocks from work and it’s too hot, the sun is too bright, and he’s accidentally walking into two people. He takes the last sip from his large coffee, tosses it in the nearest trash can, and ducks into a Starbucks. 

It’s crowded and loud and he bumps into three more people. 

He’s adding sugar to his coffee in a Starbucks three blocks from his office when he hears someone clear their throat. 

He rolls his eyes and feels like turning around and ripping their head off. He’s exhausted and vaguely hung-over. He feels terrible and knows he could look better- his shirt is wrinkled and he’s still rubbing sleep out of his eyes- and he has no patience for people that have no patience this early in the morning. But he decides making a scene would talk more energy than he has right now and steps out of the way.

“No.” 

Caleb’s head shoots up because he’d recognize that voice anywhere. He’s been thinking about it (and complaining about it to Abigail) for weeks. 

The man smiles wide and ducks his head. He’s dressed beautifully in pressed black pants and a deep blue sweater with his messenger bag hanging across his body. He’s holding a cup with Ben written across it next to a smiley face. 

Ben. 

“I was trying to get your attention.”

“You’ve got it now.” 

“I wasn’t sure if you’d remember me.”

“Of course I remember you.”

“I thought you were a little drunk.”

“You were a little drunk too and you remember me.”

“You’re hard to forget.”

Now Caleb is smiling and blushing. This might be the best day of his life. 

“I just thought I’d say hi.” Ben says. I haven’t seen you in here before and I’m in here a lot. I didn’t really take you for the kind of guy that would spend this much on coffee.”

“I usually go to this bakery near my apartment, Marquis. They have really good coffee and it’s normally enough to hold me over until I get to work but I needed something extra this morning.”

“I’ve had my fair share of those types of days.”

“Yeah.”

Something flickers across Ben’s face and his smiles dips just a bit before he recovers. “Well, it was nice to see you again but I really have to get going.” He starts to weave his way through the crowd for the door with Caleb right behind him. People move out of his way easily enough and Caleb is happy to follow in his wake. 

“School?” Caleb asks when they get to the door. Ben holds it open for him and an older woman who beams up at him. Ben smiles right back.

“Yes, first day. If I’m late it sets the tone for the rest of the year and the kids won’t ever shut up about it. I mean there great, children are our future and whatever but…” He trails of Caleb laughs. God, he’s totally into him. He takes a sip of his coffee to help settle his thoughts so he doesn’t say something stupid. He knows he has to say something because Ben is just standing there staring at him in a way that makes Caleb think that he doesn’t care that his shirt is wrinkled. 

“You should go. I want you to have a good year.” 

Ben looks a little disappointed. “Thanks. You have a good day too.”

Ben lingers for a moment before he finally decides to turn away. Caleb watches him for a few steps before he’s moving after him.

“Wait. Just.” Caleb catches his arm and pulls him to the edge of the sidewalk so they’re out of the way of the foot traffic. “Do you maybe want to get together again sometime?”

“Yeah, that would be great. I was hoping you’d say that. I think one day I’m going to have to make the first move.” He takes a few steps before he turns around. “I’m sorry I ran away from you.”

“It’s okay.”

“No it’s not. I didn’t know what else to do. I really don’t do that kind of thing but I just….there was something about you. I don’t know. I feel bad for just taking off.”

“Make it up to me.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” He tosses over his shoulder as he walks away. 

Caleb makes it all the way to work, turns on his computer, and finishes the last sip of his coffee before he realizes they didn’t exchange numbers. 

It’s a fact that Abigail decides to gloss right over in her excitement of their second chance meeting. 

“This is great.”

“No, it’s stupid. We left each other without exchanging any information. He doesn’t even know my name. I only know his name because I saw it on his stupid cup. We’re both idiots.”

“At least you have that in common.”

“What am I supposed to do now?”

“Go back to that Starbucks. You said he said he goes there a lot.”

“You want me to stalk him?”

“It’s not stalking. Just go there, get your coffee, and bump into him. He already said he wanted to see you again.”

“I guess I could do that. I feel like I’m cheating on Marquis.”

“You’ll get over it. Keep me up to date.”

**Tuesday**

**Caleb 7:25am**  
He’s not here.

 **Abigail 7:27am**  
You’re there the same time you saw him last time?

 **Caleb 7:27am**  
Yes.

 **Caleb 7:27am**  
I’ve been waiting here for ten minutes. I’m going to be late.

 **Abigail 7:28am**  
He was running late before. You got there too late. Be there tomorrow earlier.

 **Caleb 7:28am**  
You got all the answers. 

**Abigail 7:28am**  
Of course I do.

 **Wednesday**  


**Caleb 7:01am**  
He’s not here.

 **Abigail 7:01**  
Maybe you’re too early.

 **Abigail 7:01**  
Try again tomorrow.

**Thursday**

**Caleb 7:15am**  
He’s not here. 

**Abigail 7:15am**  
Wait.

 **Caleb 7:15am**  
I’ve been waiting. I’ve been waiting all week.

 **Abigail 7:15am**  
Some things take time. Is he going to a different Starbucks?

 **Caleb 7:16am**  
He said he goes to this one a lot.

 **Abigail 7:16am**  
Maybe he got confused. There are a ton of them around there. Are you sure you’re at the right one?

 **Caleb 7:16am**  
I know I’m at the right one. I haven’t spent all week at the wrong Starbucks.

 **Abigail 7:16amm**  
It’s only Thursday. Do you know what school he teaches at?

 **Caleb 7:17am**  
I have an idea.

 **Abigail 7:17am**  
You could wait outside the school.

 **Abigail 7:17am**  
Don’t do that.

 **Caleb 7:17am**  
I CAN’T DO THAT.

 **Caleb 7:17am**  
Oh my god.

 **Abigail 7:17am**  
I know, I know. Don’t do that.

 **Caleb 7:17am**  
I’m already stalking him you want me to lurk outside of a school? I’m going to get arrested.

 **Abigail 7:17am**  
I KNOW. I’m just trying to help you. 

**Caleb 7:18am**  
Why hasn’t he been looking for me?

 **Caleb 7:18am**  
He might be. You’re not there every day and you won’t let me ask anyone else about it. 

**Caleb 7:20am**  
Aldskjfkjsadhjiguhdakldjfaklda!! 

**Abigail 7:20am**  
What???

Caleb slides his phone into his pocket and makes a beeline towards Ben. He smooths out the front of this button down as he maneuvers his way through the crowd. There are no wrinkles in it today. 

He’s made sure there haven’t been all week in case this happened. 

“Ben.” 

Ben turns on his heels at the same time Caleb touches his elbow. Caleb’s hand flies off and flails between them. Then Ben’s face lights up and Caleb returns his hand to his arm. 

“I don’t know your name.” Ben says quickly. “It’s been driving me crazy.”

“Caleb. Brewster. I only know your name because I saw it on your cup.” 

Ben looks at his cup then at Caleb’s. Caleb is written down the side.

“I didn’t even notice. I was so worried about getting to work on time.”

“It’s fine. I should’ve asked you for your number. I was just so happy to see you.” He admits then immediately feels color flood his cheeks.

Ben fishes into his bag for his phone and hands it over. “Put your number in.” He after he unlocks it and hands it over. “Do you want to hear something really stupid?”

Caleb pauses typing and nods. 

“I went to that bakery you said you go to everyday this week hoping that I would see you but I never did.”

Caleb barks out a laugh. “You didn’t see me because I was here looking for you.”

“That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.”

“I think we’re idiots.”

“At least we know we have something in common.”

“I’m sure we have plenty in common.”

They switch phones again and Caleb slides it into his pocket. “I’ll text you. We’ll set something up.”

“Lookin’ forward to it.”

Caleb is tempted to text him right away, before he even turns the corner but he holds off. He doesn’t want to come across as being too desperate, which he’s okay with admitting that he completely is. 

He makes it exactly two hours before he texts him. 

**Caleb 9:01am**  
Do you want to come over tonight? For dinner?

 **Caleb 9:01am**  
I can cook. 

**Ben 2:02pm**  
Yes. Sorry it took me so long to reply. Classes. What time?

 **Caleb. 2:10pm**  
7??

 **Ben 2:11pm**  
Sounds good. Are you really going to cook?

 **Caleb 2:12pm**  
Yes. You have any allergies I should know about?

 **Ben 2:12pm**  
Allergy free. Not picky. Impress me.

 **Caleb. 2:13pm**  
I’ll do my best. See you tomorrow. Now get back to class and shape some young minds.

 **Ben 2:13pm**  
I’ll do my best. 

Caleb has a glass of wine poured for wine in his hand as he opens the door for him. Ben takes it graciously as he pops open more buttons on his shirt. He looks like he needs the whole bottle.

“You alright?”

He’s still drinking as he rolls his eyes. “Kids these days.” He answers when he finally takes a breath. 

They talk about their day until Ben finishes the last sip from his glass and he pushes Caleb against the edge of the counter and Caleb reaches behind him to turn off the oven before he’s hauling him off to the bedroom. 

Caleb thought Ben was talented while he was vertical but he’s even better horizontal. 

“Do you want dinner now? It’ll take time for the oven to heat up but I have a good idea about what we could do while we wait.” He tangles his fingers in the hair at the nape of Ben’s neck and brings him down for a kiss. 

Ben glances past his shoulder at the clock on his nightstand. It’s already 11:30. 

“Would it bother you if I went home?”

Caleb releases him immediately. “No. Of course not.” It’s a white lie.

“I have to be up early and I don’t have a change of clothes and if I wore the same thing the kids would definitely notice….”

“Those damn kids.” Caleb murmurs as Ben leans over the side of the bed to gather his clothes. 

“I feel bad.”

“Don’t, it’s not a big deal. I promise.”

Ben looks like he wants to say something else but he busies himself with buttoning up his shirt instead. 

He leaves Caleb with a brief kiss, a reassurance that he doesn’t need him to walk him to the door and no mention of wanting to see him again.

Caleb falls asleep in a bed that still smells like him while trying to figure out how he managed to have a one night stand for the second time. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“I saw Ben last night.” Caleb tells Abigail the next night.

She raises her eyebrows. “How’d that go?”

“Great.” 

“And…..you put out on the second date?”

“It wasn’t a date and yes.”

“What was it then?”

“I don’t know. He left right after. He said it was late and it was and that he lives across town and he didn’t want to wake me up in the morning when he had to leave so I get it but he didn’t say anything about getting together again.”

“I’m sure he will. Give it some time. He was the one that said he wanted to see you again.”

“He said he wouldn’t mind doing it again, not that he wanted to see me again.”

“God, I can’t believe men that the nerve to call women complicated. Don’t be stupid. Talk to him. You’ve got nothing to lose.”

She’s right but that doesn’t mean that he listens. 

He sees Ben three times a week; always on a weeknight, always at Caleb’s, and Ben always leaves before Caleb falls asleep.

Caleb invites him over for dinner but they never get around to eating. 

It’s always.

_“You know I can’t cook with you wrapped around me like this?”_

_“Ben leans closer and grazes the shell of Caleb’s ear with his lips when he speaks “Then stop cooking.”_

Or. 

_“I have pizza. It’s already made and on the table._

_Ben pushes him towards his bedroom._

_“I’m not hungry.”_

Ben shocks the hell out of him when he texts him an address for a restaurant. 

**Ben 5:55pm**  
Meet me here in ten minutes? I don’t remember the last time I actually had dinner.

 **Caleb 5:57pm**  
I keep trying to make it for you.

 **Ben 5:57pm**  
You distract me. Meeting me there or not?

 **Caleb 5:58pm**  
I’ll be there. 

**Caleb 5:58pm**  
:) 

“What are you smiling at?”

Caleb almost drops his phone and Abigail smirks.

“I have to go meet Ben. We’re getting dinner.”

“You have a date?” 

“It’s not a date. It’s dinner. We’re not dating.”

“Yes you are.” 

“No we’re not. It’s not a big deal. It’s not a feelings type of arrangement. It’s physical.”

“That doesn’t sound healthy.”

“I’m going to be late.”

“It’s okay to like him, Caleb.” She says softly. Caleb hops off the stool. 

Ben’s waiting for him on the sidewalk. He jams his phone into his pocket and smile when he sees him.

“Am I late?”

“No.” Ben leans in and kisses his cheek. Caleb is momentarily flustered. “I’m just early.”

The food is good and the service is quick and friendly and when the check comes Ben forcefully slaps Caleb’s hand away.

“My treat.”

“We can split it.”

“You can pay next time.”

He tips very well. 

After dinner Caleb tries to come up with a new and charming way to ask ‘your place or mine’ when Ben wraps his fingers around Caleb’s wrist and pulls him against the side of the building. The brick is cool against the back but Ben’s body is like a furnace at his front. 

“You know you are not at all what I expected you to be when I first saw you.”

Ben noses against the side of Caleb’s neck. “What does that mean?”

“You know, all of this. What happened in the bathroom and making out in the open in front of a restaurant. When I first saw you with your books and everything I thought you were some kind of good boy.”

Ben pulls back with his hands still bracketing Caleb in place. He looks offended but he’s smiling. “I am a good boy.”

Caleb raises an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?” 

“Come home with me? I’ll prove it.”

“Yes.”

Ben’s place is small but neat. His shoes are lined up at the door and his messenger bag hangs from a hook on the back of the door. He drops his keys in a bowl on the counter.

“This is nice.” He comments are he moves further into the living room. “Have you been living here long?”

Ben is right behind him when he turns around and he pulls Caleb in with a warm hand on the side of his neck.

“A couple of years. Would you like a tour?”

“I’d love one.”

“Kitchen.” He nods over his shoulder then wraps a hand around the back of his neck and hooks the other in the side of his shirt so he can drag him down the hallway. “Living room, bathroom, and the bedroom is down here.” 

He shoves him through the door and onto the bed. 

Caleb lets himself lie there with Ben for ten minutes before he swings his legs off the side of the bed in search his pants. They’ve been kicked over into the corner and he hears the bed shift beneath Ben’s weight as he turns over to watch him get dressed.

“I should go.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Caleb doesn’t turn around. “Early day tomorrow.”

“They’re all early.”

“That’s life for ya.” He mumbles as he pulls on his shirt and leans across the bed to kiss him. “I’ll call you, okay?”

Ben nods and stretches, already looking sleepy. He’s not asking him to stay and he doesn’t look too broken up about him leaving. 

“I can walk you out.”

“No, it’s fine.” He smooths his hand over Ben’s shoulder. “I can find my way out. I got a tour, remember.” He winks and Ben rolls his eyes. 

Caleb makes sure the door is locked behind him and softly lets it click closed.

He treats himself to a cab ride home.

Caleb tries to put some distance between them.

Over the next three days they text occasionally but neither one sets up a time to meet up again. 

That’s why Caleb is sitting alone at the bar watching Hewlett try to ask Anna out.

He’s so into it he almost misses his mouth and beer splashes onto the bar. Abigail appears out of nowhere with a napkin a second before Caleb starts to mop it up with his sleeve. She cuts him with a disapproving look before she’s off again. 

Hewlett nervously adjusts his tie, then his cuff links, then his tie again as he awkwardly rattles off something about a meteor shower on Friday night and watching it from an overlook on Long Island. Caleb knows it. It’s not far from where he grew up. 

He stutters as he asks if she would like to go with him- if she would be able to get away from the bar- if she could find enough people to work on such short notice so she wouldn’t be missed- if he needs to shut the place down so she could go because he owns the building after all and he’s pretty sure he has that power- and it’s so endearing that when Anna turns him down, very shyly and very gently Caleb almost speaks up to say that he’d be willing to go with Hewlett instead. 

Hewlett taps his fingers against the bar and smiles tightly, pain and disappointment clouding his eyes. 

“Well, perhaps another time then.”

He turns and leaves and Anna watches him go, chewing her bottom lip and wringing her hands.

“You should go with him. You know, if you want to. You shouldn’t care what Abe thinks.”

Anna eyes the door then looks back to Caleb.

“Go. Hurry. I’ll watch and make sure no one steals anything.”

Anna smiles and touches his hand before she bolts around the bar and out the door. Caleb watches through the window as she catches up with Hewlett, grabbing his elbow and not letting go. They’re lit by the streetlight but Hewlett’s smile is bright enough to illuminate them on its own. 

It’s nice. He likes that they’re happy. They deserve to be. Everyone deserves someone that makes them feel like they’re glowing. He thinks of Ben and warmth spreads through him. 

He quickly types out a text to Abigail.

 **Caleb 8:56pm**  
I really like him.

 **Ben 8:56pm**  
Should I be jealous?

Caleb stares at his phone. 

“Oh shit.”

 **Caleb 8:57pm**  
I didn’t mean to send that to you.

 **Ben 8:57pm**  
So, should I be jealous?

Anna comes back around the bar before he can answer. She’s smiling and blushing.

 **Caleb 9:00pm**  
No. It was about you.

 **Ben 9:01pm**  
Good. 

**Ben 9:01pm**  
I like you too. 

**Ben 9:01pm**  
Do you want to come over?

 **Ben 9:02pm**  
Sorry for the triple text.

 **Ben 9:02pm**  
Quadruple.

 **Ben 9:02pm**  
Just come over.

 **Caleb 9:03pm**  
Give me ten minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“Are you doing anything Friday night?”

“This Friday? No, why?”

“Well.” Caleb is suddenly overcome with nerves. He’s already naked in his bed and he picks this moment to be nervous. “There’s supposed to be a meteor shower on Friday night. A little before midnight.”

“Yeah, I heard one of the science teachers talking about it.” He flops down on the bed with his chin resting on Caleb’s bent knee. “Too bad we won’t be able to see it with the lights and everything.”

“That’s what I’m saying. There’s this viewing party thing in Long Island. One of my friends was talking about it and I thought maybe we could go. I could make dinner and we could bring it. I could pick you up from work and we could go from there or you could come back here and change and I’ll pick you up here.”  
Ben doesn’t say anything and Caleb rambles on. 

“Whatever works for you? We could even go out to dinner if you don’t trust my cooking skills but I promise I’m good. Or we could just forget it.”

Ben’s eyebrows knit together. Caleb takes it as a bad sign.

“We can just forget it. Let’s forget it. It’s stupid. It’s probably going to be packed and the guy I heard it from-I’m not even friends with him, I don’t even know him that well so I shouldn’t be planning dates based on what he says is fun-not that this would be a date, I know we don’t really….we don’t make plans like that-.”

He stops talking abruptly when Ben covers his mouth with his hand. 

“You have a car?”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“So, this is what George Washington crossed the Delaware in.”

He shoves his shoulder into Ben’s. “Shut up. I’ve had it since I was 16.”

“And it was 200 years old then.”

“It’s reliable. It’s never caused me a problem.”

“Well that’s why George picked it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
It’s colder than he expected it to be but its fine. Caleb pours hot chocolate from a thermos and they sit close on the blanket. Caleb pulls out peanut butter and jelly sandwiches out of the bag next and Ben laughs loud enough to draw stares form a couple sitting in lawn chairs a few yards away.

“That’s not cooking. That’s preparing.”

“I prepared these for you and if you’re going to be a jerk about it-.” 

Ben leans in a kisses him hard enough that Caleb sways back and had to drop a hand to the blanket to keep him upright. One of the sandwiches falls beneath his palm but it’s impossible to care with Ben’s hand cradling his jaw. He tastes like chocolate and when he slows the kiss and pulls away he lets Caleb rest his forehead against his own.

“I like peanut butter and jelly. I like all of this. I like being here and your car and I like you.”

Caleb’s close enough to see that the flush on his face has nothing to do with the cold.

Ben falls asleep before it starts with the line of his body pressed against Caleb’s and his face turned into his shoulder.

He warned Caleb that this might happen and that he should wake him up right away because that’s not fair to Caleb- he planned all of this and it’s rude to sleep through any of it- but Caleb lets him sleep. He’s never seen Ben like this, all quiet and peaceful with his eyelashes spreading out over the tops of his cheeks. He’s content to let him sleep through the whole thing but some kid squeals at the first light he sees in the sky and Ben jolts awake.

“Told you to wake me.” 

“Oops.” Caleb shrugs as he brushes Ben’s hair off his face.

Ben scowls and shuffles closer so he can rest his head all the way onto Caleb’s shoulder as they both look up at the sky. 

“You see that there?” 

Ben watches Caleb traces a pattern in the stars with his finger. 

“Big dipper and if you follow those stars up and over it looks like a bear. And those three bright ones right there?”

He glances over at Ben to make sure he’s paying attention but he’s propped up on his elbow staring at him. 

“I had no idea you were so into this.”

“I might have looks some stuff up.”

“That is….”

“If you make fun of me I swear to God.”

“I was going to say that is incredibly sweet.”

“Oh.”

The meteors taper off around two and despite being almost asleep Ben hops to his feet and holds his hands out to help haul Caleb to his feet.

“Eager to leave?” Caleb asks as he stumbles into Ben, tired and not used to standing.

“My butt was getting cold.”

“I could’ve warmed that up for you.”

Ben slaps a hand over his own heart- over dramatically scandalized. “There are families here.” 

Caleb shrugs and tries to stick his hand in Ben’s back pocket. Ben slaps it away then holds onto it and links their fingers together. They don’t let go until Ben has to get in the car. He leans over and pops open the driver’s side for Caleb. 

The ride home is quiet. 

Ben rests his head against the window and the only sound he makes is a soft, annoyed, grunt when the car hits a bump and his face bounces off the glass. Caleb apologizes eat time and gets another grunt in return. 

There’s no traffic so they make good time and when Caleb turns onto Ben’s street Ben sits up straight and stretches, hands hitting the roof of the car as he groans softly. 

“You can use my parking spot. It’ll probably be the only time a car will be in there.”

Caleb’s eyebrows shoot up but Ben’s reaching into the backseat for the empty thermos. 

“I…it’s okay.” Caleb says when he can finally form words. “I can just go home.”

They don’t do this. They don’t spend the night.

“Don’t be stupid. It’s late and we’re exhausted and it would ruin my weekend if you didn’t make it home in one piece. Pull into the garage.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Go; hurry before I fall asleep again.”

Caleb is silent during the elevator ride up to Ben’s apartment. Ben is leaning against the wall with his eyes closed and Caleb has to pull him by the sleeve when the doors open. 

“You can shower first.” Ben rinses out the thermos in the kitchen sink and Caleb stares at him from the hallway still not understanding what’s happening. “Grab some clothes too, if you want. Bottom drawer. It’ll all fit you.”

He sets the thermos in the drying rack and turns to face Caleb.

“Why aren’t you going? You know where it is, right? You’ve been here before.”

“Right.”

He has been here before. 

But not like this. 

Usually they’d both be naked and tearing into each other after thirty seconds in each other’s apartments. 

“Right.” He starts down the hall with Ben following him. “I’ll be quick.”

“Take your time.” He yawns and opens his bedroom door. “I’ll grab the clothes for you.” 

He leaves the bathroom door cracked open, an invitation that he doesn’t expect to be (and isn’t) accepted and turns on the water as hot as it’ll go. He uses Ben’s shampoo and soap and when he shuts off the water and steps out there’s a towel, sweatpants, and a t-shirt on the toilet seat and an unopened toothbrush on the sink.

He dries off, dresses, (the clothes are a little big) and brushes his teeth. When he comes into the bedroom Ben’s lying back on the bed with his feet barely touching the ground. He doesn’t move as he gets closer and he can tell that he’s asleep again. Caleb tugs at his shirt until he groans and throws his arm over his eyes. 

“Tired. But have to shower.” 

“You don’t have to.” Caleb says as he runs his hands down his legs to slip his shoes off. As soon as the second on hits the floor he’s on his feet and heading toward the bathroom, squeezing Caleb’s shoulder as he goes. 

Caleb paces the floor while the shower is on. He doesn’t know what to do with himself until the water stops and he sits on the edge of the bed to wait for Ben. 

He looks sleepy and cozy and his hair is still damp and curling just slightly. He walks right past Caleb to pull down the covers and climbs in. Then he leans up and wraps his hand around Caleb’s elbow to pull him back. 

“C’mere.” He mumbles and Caleb slides back and slips beneath the covers. Ben switches off the light and throws an arm around his waist. “I had fun tonight. This was a good idea.”

“I’m glad you had fun.”

Ben sighs and tightens his hold on him

When Caleb wakes up in the middle of the night Ben’s facing away from him on the other side of the bed. Caleb pulls the covers up under his chin and buries himself deeper in the pillows. 

When he wakes up the second time Ben has a warm hand splayed along the small of his back, a single touchstone to keep him in place. There’s light coming in from underneath the curtain and Ben’s hand starts to slide up his side.

“What are you doing today?” His warm breath hits the back of his neck.

_Exactly this._

“I didn’t have any set plans.”

“Good. Stay here.” 

“Won’t argue.”

They both fall back asleep until the light shining through the window is too much for him to ignore. He sits up so he can look at the clock on nightstand on Ben’s side. 

“I feel like such a slob.” He rubs his hand over his face. “It’s eleven o’clock.”

“I’m not holding you here against your will. Go on.” He waves his hands towards the door. 

“No way.” Caleb pushes at Ben’s shoulder. “Shove over.”

Ben groans but shifts and extends an arm for Caleb to fall in to.

“I feel great. I don’t remember the last time I did nothing on a Saturday.”

“Are you usually out with your fancy friends having brunch somewhere in Brooklyn?”

Ben laughs. “Yeah right. I usually spend my Saturdays here grading papers. Most of my friends are teachers and they do the same thing.”

“I usually catch up on TV and eat leftovers.”

“What did you do when you were a kid?”

“My mom shoved me and my brother out of the house. Like, a foot in our asses out the door so we wouldn’t bother her and destroy the house. Our house is pretty close to the shore so we swam a lot. Sometimes my sister came with us but she was older and allowed back in the house. My mom said she was the only one that was housebroken. She probably still thinks that.”

“Are your parents still together?”

“Yup. Still living in the house I grew up in too.”

“That’s nice. That must be nice. Do you go back there a lot?”

“As much as I can. I’m there for all the holidays. Anymore and my mom would get sick of me.”

“You are a lot to handle.”

“Ha.” He pokes a finger into Ben’s ribs. “Why are your parents in Florida?”

“It’s just my dad. He moved down there five years ago. It was after my mom died.”

Caleb makes a sympathetic noise in the back of his throat. 

“He said he wanted a change and that he was tired of the cold and shoveling snow. I think he couldn’t take another winter because it was my mom’s favorite season.” He frowns and before Caleb can comfort him he’s smiling again. “It’s not so bad. It’s a nice vacation spot. He’s near Disney World.”

“Please tell me you have a picture of you in Mickey Mouse ears.”

“You’ll never find out.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
They pad barefoot into the kitchen around 1 o’clock. 

Ben opens cabinet after cabinet. 

“Make sure you tell your friend thanks for that idea. It was a lot of fun. I’ve never seen anything like it.” 

“He’s not really my friend. He has this crush on my friend and I overhead him finally work up the courage to ask her out.”

“That’s where he took her?”

“Yup.” 

“Pretty good first date. Do you think they hooked up?”

“Um. Eww. I don’t want to think about that. I think of Anna like a sister. It makes me uncomfortable.”

“Alright, sorry.” After a beat of silence he says “But do you think they did?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. No. No, definitely not. Hewlett is really traditional and proper. He’s a gentleman. The furthest he got was walking her to her door and kissing her on the cheek. Or hand. He might have just shaken her hand and thanked her. I don’t know. He’s British.” 

He leans against the door frame and watches Ben as he stands in front of the open fridge. 

“What are we doing?”

“I am trying to figure out what to make you for lunch. Ugh.” He straightens and looks over at Caleb. “Do you want to order pizza instead? It’ll be quicker and easier.” He points a finger at him. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t cook because I totally can. I’ll prove it to you one of these days.”

“No.” Caleb shakes his head and takes a few steps closer. Ben stands a little straighter when he hears his rough tone. “No, I meant what we are doing. What is this?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Do you do this with other people?”

Ben’s mouth drops open. “Are you seriously asking me if I’m seeing other people?”

“Yes.”

“No, of course I’m not.”

“How was I supposed to know that? As far as I know we’re friends with benefits.”

“That’s not how I think of you.”

“Then why don’t you ever stay over?”

“I told you why. I don’t stay over because you live all the way across town and I don’t want to wake you up when I have to leave. Why don’t you ever stay?”

“I thought you didn’t want me to. You didn’t ask me to.”

“You didn’t give me a chance. You were out the door before I even knew what was happening.”

“I didn’t want to hear you tell me to go. I couldn’t hear that.”

“I wouldn’t have said that. Honestly, if you wanted to stay all you had to do was ask. I always wanted you to stay. I always wanted to stay.”

“All I had to do was ask?”

“Yes.”

“That’s all.”

“Yes.”

“So from now on if I want to stay I just ask?”

“You don’t have to ask now. Just stay. I’m always going to be okay with that.”

“Don’t say that, you might never get rid of me.”

“I’m okay with that too.”

He scuffs his foot across the floor. “So does this mean we’re dating?”

“We always have been, you ass.” 

“So how would you feel about a real date? Tomorrow?”

“A Sunday?”

“Yeah. Test out this sleeping over thing for real. I don’t really care if I’m late for work. My attendance is scary good. They can deal.”

“On a Monday? What if there’s a crisis?”

“They can deal.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Caleb goes home that night. His clothes still smell like damp grass and he can’t go another day with them. 

Ben does have work to do which he can’t put off forever. 

They kiss goodbye at the door with plans for Ben to pick him up at six the next day. 

On Sunday Caleb is ready to go at 5:30. 

He’s nervous and pacing and has already changed his shirt four times. 

It’s stupid to be acting like that. It’s dinner. It’s a date. It’s something Ben has already been thinking that they have been doing. 

He flips on the TV, drinks one and half glasses of water, and plays on his phone to pass the time and keep his eyes off the clock.

When he lets himself looks up its 6:05. It’s not like Ben to be late but he tries not to let it bother him. It could be traffic. It could be that Ben had to finish his work, he usually has the whole weekend to work on it but Caleb only gave him the day. It’s probably fine. 

Ten minutes later he starts to get really nervous but not enough to do anything about it. 

Twenty minutes later he fires off a text. 

**Caleb 6:35pm**  
Are you on your way? I know traffic can be rough.

Ben would’ve texted him if he was stuck somewhere. 

At 6:45 he calls him. It rings and rings and rings then goes to voice mail. Caleb doesn’t leave a message. 

At 7:00 Caleb puts on his coat and goes to the restaurant. Maybe Ben got mixed up and thought they were meeting there. Maybe his phone died so he can’t get a hold of him.

Ben’s not waiting at the restaurant. He asks the hostess if he’s seen him, he shows her a picture of Ben that he has on his phone and everything. She studies it and shakes her head and Caleb leaves feeling like an idiot. 

He just got stood up by a guy he’s been dating for three months. 

He keeps his phone on and next to him all night. 

In the morning there’s only a text from Abigail. 

**Abigail 6:59am**  
How was your first official OFFICIAL date??!!?

 **Caleb 8:01am**  
He never showed.

His phone rings immediately. Abigail’s face lights up the screen and Caleb answers.

“He didn’t show?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know, I have no idea.” He says all in one breath. “He was supposed to meet me here and I waited and waited and texted and called and he didn’t respond so I went to the  
restaurant because I figured, ya’know, maybe he got mixed up-which is so not like him- but I thought maybe that happened and he wasn’t there either. God, I must have sounded like such an idiot to the hostess. She probably thought I was some loser that didn’t want to admit that I got stood up but that’s exactly what I am.” He makes a frustrated noise. Abigail clucks her tongue. “This isn’t like him. He wouldn’t do this.”

“He still hasn’t responded?”

“Nothing. When do I start panicking?”

“Not yet. I’m sure there’s an explanation.”

“Like what? I didn’t get any sleep last night trying to figure out what happened and I got nothing.”

There’s silence on the line and he thinks maybe he lost her. 

“Abigail?”

“Yeah, I’m still here…..trying to come up with a reason.”

“There isn’t one. I don’t know what to do. What if he, I don’t know, got hit by a bus or something?”

“I think we would hear about someone getting hit by a bus on the news. Could something have happened with his father? He had to take off suddenly and he’s been overwhelmed and can’t get back to you?”

“I can’t believe I’m actually hoping that something is wrong with his dad. How horrible am I?”

“You’re worried. It’s understandable.”

“You don’t think…..” He sighs heavily. He doesn’t want to say it. “You don’t think he’s just flat out avoiding me, do you?”

“Why would he do that?”

“Maybe I pressured him into saying that we’re dating and he didn’t really want that and this is the easiest way out. To just ignore me.”

“He is not ghosting on you.”

“I don’t know if I know what that means.”

“It’s when someone cuts all ties with the person that they’re dating so they don’t have to see them anymore.”

“Ben wouldn’t do that.”

“So there has to be another explanation. Don’t panic. You won’t be doing yourself any good.” 

Caleb tries; he really does, to listen to Abigail. 

He sends off a few more texts and calls, they both go unanswered. 

He checks his phone before he goes to bed and right when he wakes up and about a hundred times between the two. 

He asks the barista at Starbucks, Allison, if she’s seen him. She hasn’t but that doesn’t tell him much. Ben’s either out of the city or going to a different Starbucks to avoid Caleb at all costs. He knew both of those possibilities before. 

He also checks the obituaries in New York and Florida, just in case. 

He doesn’t tell Abigail about that. 

Thankfully he never sees a name that he recognizes but unfortunately it doesn’t give him any answers. 

Ben’s just gone. 

On Thursday at 12:05 he decides that he has had enough. 

He runs to Ben’s apartment on a mission to talk to the landlord or a neighbor or to just stand outside his door with his ear pressed to the surface listening for life inside. 

He takes the elevator up with a middle aged woman carrying a bag of groceries. She smiles at him, politely, and tells him she’s going up to Ben’s floor. He follows her out of the elevator and down the hall towards Ben’s apartment. She stops two doors down and props the bag between her hip and the door frame so she can grab her keys out of her bag. 

Caleb watches her struggle with his hand raises and ready to knock for a moment before he remembers his manners and crosses the distance to help her out. He takes the bag from her right before it slips to the ground.

“Thank you.” Without the added burden of the groceries she grabs her keys quickly and jams it in the lock. She’s about to take the bag back but Caleb leans back. 

“Do you know Ben Tallmadge?” He tips his head back towards Ben’s door. “He lives right there.” 

“I know him. A little.”

“You haven’t heard from him have you? Like, he didn’t ask you to water his plants or anything because he had to catch an emergency flight to Florida or something like that? You would know if something bad happened to him specifically, right? I’m not crazy. I’m dating him.”

“I’ve seen you around here before.”

“Oh, okay, good. He missed our date on Sunday and I’m worried. I haven’t been able to get a hold of him. That’s not like him, right?”

“I don’t really know him that well.”

“Well I do and it’s not like him. I’m worried about him. I don’t know if something happened to him.” 

She opens her mouth but something crashes in Ben’s apartment. Like glass breaking. 

“You know what?” He hands the bag over, making sure she has a secure grip on it before he lets go completely. “Thanks for your help.”

Her door clicks shut as Caleb starts to bang on Ben’s door.

“Ben, open the door. I know you’re in there. You owe me an explanation. You can’t just blow me off like this. We’ve been together for two months and that is too long to cut me off without an explanation. I’ll stand out there all day. I don’t care how crazy it makes me look or how pissed off your neighbors get at me. I think if I explained myself to them they’d be on my side because this is really shitty behavior. You were the one that said that we were dating. How can you just change your mind that quickly?” 

He’s ready for another assault on the door when it swings open.

Ben looks terrible.

His nose is red and there are dark circles under his eyes. He’s pale, his hair looks unwashed and unkempt and he has his comforter wrapped around his shoulders. He’s only wearing one slipper and it’s on the wrong foot. 

He looks at Caleb like he doesn’t recognize him. He blinks a few times then it seems to click.

“Caleb.”

“Shit. Yes. You look like shit.”

“Thanks.” He shuffles back from the door.

“Are you okay? Obviously you’re not okay. Why aren’t you okay?”

“Ummm.” He closes the door and leans against it like he’s not even strong enough to support his own weight. “The flu. I think.” 

“How long have you been sick?”

“What day is it?”

“Thursday.”

“Oh.” He wipes his nose on his sleeve. Caleb knows he has to be really sick to do that. “Sunday.”

“Have you been to the doctor?”

Ben shakes his head. Caleb sighs in frustration.

“You’ve been sick that long and you haven’t been to the doctors?”

Ben waves his hand, dismissing him. “What were you yelling about out there?”

Caleb rubs the back of his neck. It all seems so stupid now. “It’s not important.”

“It was important enough for you to come here and yell about it.”

“I thought….I thought you left me.”

“What?”

“We were supposed to have dinner Sunday night.”

Ben squeezes his eyes shut. “Oh god, Caleb. I forgot. I didn’t feel well Sunday morning so I went back to bed thinking I’d sleep it off and I’d feel okay later but the next time I woke up it was Monday afternoon and I only woke up because I had to throw up. A lot. I never even called work. I just didn’t think about it. My principle finally called me on Tuesday. He was so pissed. I thought he was going to fire me but then he heard how sick I sounded.”

“How sick you sound.” Caleb presses the back of his hand to Ben’s forehead like his mother used to do to him when he was a child. He’s burning up and leans into the touch then takes a long, wheezing breath before he continues.

“I sounded worse before.”

“That’s hard to imagine.”

His eyes flash to Caleb’s. “Anyways, he heard how awful I sounded and I told him that was nothing compared to how I felt so he told me to take the rest of the week off. Then he told me he was going to call an ambulance for me. I talked him out of that one.”

“Should I call one? I feel like you should be in the emergency room right now. They’d take you right way. I gunshot victim couldn’t look worse than you.”

“Don’t.” He slumps forward and rests his sweaty head against Caleb’s chest. “This is the best I’ve felt in days.”

Caleb rubs his back until Ben picks his head up. 

“Are you sure I didn’t call you? I swear I remember having a conversation with you.”

“If you did I would’ve come here a lot sooner.”

“Maybe I dreamt it. I was so out of it.” He drops his head back onto Caleb’s shoulder and Caleb wraps an arm around him and leads him to the couch. He folds his feet beneath him and shivers. Caleb tugs the blanket tighter around his body. “I can’t believe you thought I broke up with you.”

“I called you. A lot. I never heard anything. I even asked Allison if she had seen you and she said you hadn’t been in all week. I thought you weren’t going there so you could avoid me.”

“I never heard the phone. I don’t even know where it is right now.”

“That’s a relief.”

“I would never do that.” He says seriously then laughs a little. “I can’t believe you thought I would ghost you.”

“You know that word?”

“I work in a high school. Of course I know that word.” He pushes at Caleb’s shoulder. “You should go. I don’t want you to get sick.”

“Not going to happen. I got my flu shot. Didn’t you? I can’t believe you didn’t. Isn’t it a law that you have to? You work with children. Virus riddled children.”

“Don’t blame the kids.”

“I am blaming the kids. They spread disease like crazy, coughing and sneezing everywhere. They don’t even cover their mouths. They need to be taught a lesson.”

Ben gestures to himself. “Teacher.”

“Some thanks you get for it.”

“I could’ve picked this up anywhere, like a door handle or the subway.”

“Have you been licking subway poles again, Benjamin?”

He laughs but it breaks off into a coughing fit that has Caleb rubbing his back.

“Don’t laugh.”

“Don’t make me laugh. I got my shot, by the way. Just because you get the shot doesn’t mean you can’t get sick.”

“I’ve never heard that.”

“I’m living proof.”

“You’re barely living.”

“I’m disgusting.”

“Yes.”

Ben laughs again and coughs. “You really don’t have to stay. You don’t have to see me like this.”

“Shhhh.”Caleb soothes and pushes damp hair off his forehead. Ben leans against him and closes his eyes and Caleb thinks this is what love is. 

Caleb makes him soup. He works a miracle with leftover chicken, some mostly dead produce from his vegetable drawer and a half a box of elbow macaroni. Ben eats two bowls and Caleb sits with him at the kitchen table, watching him and hiding his smile behind his hand. 

“I admit that you can cook. Don’t get cocky.”

Caleb takes Ben’s temperature every hour after yelling at him for not having a thermometer. 

(“I can’t believe you don’t have one. How could you not have one?”

“I’ve never needed one before.”

“And you do now.”

“Sorry mom, I’ll go pick one up when I’m better.”

“I’m going now. I’ll be right back- don’t go anywhere.”

“I’m glad you said that, I was just about to-.” He can’t finish talking because he’s coughing too hard and Caleb takes pity on him and kisses his forehead. “Thank you, Caleb.”)

It takes him four more days to feel like himself again. He owes it all to Caleb. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
He takes Ben back to the bar. It’s time to introduce him to his friends.

They sit at the table where they first met except this time Caleb takes the seat next to him. They sit pressed together, thigh to thigh, as they drink and listen to Abe talk about the girl he’s been seeing and Anna who talks about Edmund with a shy smile on her face and Abigail who proudly tells them that Cicero made the honor roll again. 

Ben fits in so well and Caleb is insanely proud for some reason. 

Abe’s knee deep into a story about a date that he just had when Caleb leans into Ben and whispers in his ear that he should meet him in the bathroom in two minutes, ya’know, for old times’ sake. Ben’s fingers clench more firmly against the glass he’s holding before he relaxes them as Caleb stands, a hand trailing over his shoulders as he walks away. 

He doesn’t have to wait very long for Ben to join him but he still gives him shit for making him wait at all.

“Didn’t think you were gonna show.” Caleb drawls as he pulls Ben into the stall.

“Wouldn’t miss this. We have to be quick though, Abigail gave me a weird look.”

“Yeah, she would.” Caleb whispers against Ben’s jaw. Ben pushes him back.

“Does she know?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Caleb!”

“I said don’t worry about it.” He starts to bend at the knees and Ben’s hands dart out to catch his elbows.

“What are you doing?”

“It’s your lucky day. I don’t like these pants.”

“Caleb.” His voice is already a little wrecked as Caleb drops the rest of the way to the floor.

“I said, don’t worry about it.” 

Ben stops worrying about it. Ben stops worrying about everything and when they rejoin the group a suspiciously long while later he doesn’t care about the sidelong looks Abigail gives them either.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“I’m glad I never take my work home with me.” Caleb twists off the cap of a beer and watches Ben grade papers. Every inch of his kitchen table is covered. “Do you need help?”

“Yes, please.” He hands over a stack of quizzes and a red pen. Caleb sits down across from him. “Answer sheet.” Ben says as he slides over another piece of paper. “Thank you. The sooner we get this done the sooner we can go have dinner. I’m sorry I’m running late.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” He squints as he tries to make out some writing. 

“I want to get these done before Thanksgiving break.”

“You don’t want to be grading papers on a plane?”

“What plane?”

“Are you driving down to Florida? I didn’t even know you had a license.”

“I’m not going to Florida. And I have a license.”

“If your dad coming here?”

“No.”

“Then what are you doing?”

“I’m staying here.”

“Do you have other family up here?”

“I have an aunt in Connecticut but we haven’t spoken in years.”

“I don’t understand.”

“What is there to understand?” He laughs. “I’m staying here. It doesn’t make any sense to fly down then fly back up almost right away and flights are always way too expensive around the holidays and usually delayed and I’d rather spend Thanksgiving here than at an airport.”

“So you eat Thanksgiving dinner all alone?”

“I think of it as just ‘dinner’ and yes. It’s worked fine for the past four years.”

“You’ve been all alone on Thanksgiving for the past four years?”

“Why are you so upset?”

“Because it’s wrong. Doesn’t he miss you? Don’t you miss him?”

“I spent my whole summer down there. We need a break from each other. My brother is going down with his family. My dad won’t be alone.”

“You’re okay with this?”

“It works.” He shrugs and goes back to grading. 

“Come home with me.”

There’s a beat of silence before Ben’s eye flick up to Caleb’s.

“What?”

“I go back home for Thanksgiving. Come with me.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t just barge in on your family dinner.”

“You’re not barging in.”

“No.”

“I’ll be there. I’m inviting you.”

“Caleb.”

“It’s not like you’re randomly showing up.”

“You’re not listening.”

“But if you did randomly show up I don’t think my mom would care.”

“I don’t mind being alone.”

“I mind. Why be alone when you don’t have to be?”

“It’s just another day.”

“Why treat it like another day when you don’t have to?”

“I couldn’t impose.”

“You’re not. There’s plenty of room. My sister is spending the day when her husband’s family and my mom always makes a ton of food. Seriously. I can eat off it for a week. Come. I want you to come.”

“I really don’t mind-.”

“Being alone. I know, I know, I was listening.”

“Are you sure I won’t be in the way?”

“Please, chances are my mom will love you more than she loves me.”

“What should I bring?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“You told them I was coming, right?”

“For the hundredth time, yes. And it wouldn’t make a difference if I didn’t. There’s plenty of room and plenty of food. It’s no trouble.”

“That makes it sound like you didn’t tell them.” He stares hard at Caleb from the passenger seat. Caleb stares straight ahead at the road with a blank face until he cracks and the corner of his mouth pulls up. “Oh my god.” Ben presses back in the seat and slaps his hands against his thighs. 

“I told them, I swear it. Calm down, will ya? It’s just so funny to get a rise out of you.”

“You are such an asshole.” He shoves Caleb’s shoulder. “Are you sure I look okay?” 

“You should know by now I always think you look good.”

“Do I look okay for meeting your family? I feel like I should be more dressed up.”

“You mean like me?” He’s in jeans and a t-shirt, the same ones Ben has seen him in dozens of time, and there’s a hoodie in a ball in the backseat. “My family won’t care. Honestly they’re more interested in filling their plates and watching football.”

“I should’ve brought something else.” He turns to look at the bouquet of flowers and apple pie in his lap then to the pecan and cherry pies in the back seats. 

“That’s more than enough.”

Ben makes a worried little sound in the back of his throat. 

“You made three pies from scratch. My mom buys them from the store. It’s easier. You’ve gone above and beyond. Like always.”

“I want them to like me.”

“They will.”

“Sarah and John, right? And your brother’s name is Dan. His wife is Elizabeth and their daughter is Rebecca.”

“Yes. You got it; you passed the test now calm down.”

Ben stays quiet for the rest of the ride but Caleb can practically see the nerves rolling off him. 

He reaches over and puts his hand on top of Ben’s. Ben sighs but flips his hand over so he can lace his fingers through Caleb’s. 

Ben walks extremely slowly up to the house. Caleb pulls at his elbow to speed it up a little. Ben yells at him to be careful with the pies that he’s holding. 

He has to load both of the pies onto one arm so he can get the front door open and laughs when Ben almost has a heart attack.

Caleb bursts through the front door and at Ben’s urging puts a pie in both hands again. 

His family looks up in interest and his mother barrels out into the kitchen and practically skids to a stop a few feet in front of them.

“Everyone, this is my friend, Ben.”

Ben stills beside him. Sarah narrows her eyes and John rolls his. 

Everyone is dead silent until Caleb’s niece sneezes, his brother says ‘bless you’ and Ben remembers his manners.

“It’s really nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.” He steps forward and hands her the flowers. “I brought-.”

“Flowers. And Pies. God, would you look at these?” She elbows John in the ribs and he looks impressed. “You didn’t have to do all this.” She takes the pie Ben is holding. “Where’d you get these?”

“He made them.” Caleb pipes up before Ben can answer and Ben cuts him with a mildly annoyed look that he doesn’t understand but when he looks at his parents they’re both looking at him in the same way.

“You made these?”

“Yes, m’am.”

“M’am. Please, call me Sarah.” She tips her head towards the kitchen. “Come with me, Ben.” She says sweetly but her voice drops the sugar when she speaks to Caleb. “Caleb, you too.”

While Sarah is introducing Ben to the rest of the family on the way to the kitchen John slings his arm around his shoulders.

“You’re gonna pay for that comment later, son.”

“What comment?”

“Oh.” He laughs and tightens his grip before letting go and sliding into his worn arm chair. “You’ll figure it out eventually.”

“Caleb, get in here. He never listens.” She mumbles to Ben “Does he ever listen to you?”

“Never.”

“I was listening. I listen.”

Sarah and Ben disappear around the corner and into the kitchen and Caleb follows after. 

“Good luck.” John says.

“You’re going to need it.” Elizabeth tells him. 

Caleb still doesn’t know what’s going on. 

“I still can’t believe you made these.” Sarah gushes and Ben ducks his head. He’s too modest. “Where’d you learn how to do this?”

“Internet. You can find anything on there. I hope they taste okay.”

Way too modest.

“Of course they’ll taste okay. They’ll be great. Everything he does is great.”

Sarah shakes her head and she and Ben make eye contact with each other. They roll their eyes. 

“Do you need any help?” Ben asks.

“That would be great.”

“Ma, don’t hold him captive in here. Ben, you can come watch TV with the rest of us.”

“I don’t mind.”

“He doesn’t mind.”

“Oh. Okay.” He tries to dip his finger into the mashed potatoes but his mother slaps his hand away. “Do you need my help?”

“Go watch TV, dear.” She says as they both turn towards the stove.

Dinner is casual and relaxed. Any nerves Ben had seem to drift further and further way every time Sarah piles more mashed potatoes on his plate. They talk about Ben’s job and what else he studied in college and about his father (not his mother- that’s something Caleb already warned them about on the phone). Ben has stories for days. Most of them are ones that Caleb hasn’t even heard before, like when he had to teach Latin for a semester and a half because the old teacher quit and the time his dad called him at three in the morning a week after he moved because the house was covered in lizards and he didn’t know what to do. 

He’s charming and fits right in and Caleb watches him with a big, stupid, smile on his face. He leans into his shoulder and puts a hand on Ben’s knee beneath the table. Ben immediately turns away, closes himself off, and starts in on the next story. 

Caleb still has no idea what’s going on. 

Ben is absolutely forbidden from clearing the table and despite his best efforts to pitch in he’s crowded into the living room with Elizabeth and Rebecca. 

Caleb’s brother and father bring the dirty dishes into the kitchen while he and his mother put the leftovers in containers and load the dishwasher. Once all the plates have been brought in Sarah pushes John and Dan out the door so it’s just her and Caleb left in the kitchen. Caleb hands her plates to put in the dishwasher knowing that she needs them to go in a certain way.

“You like Ben, right?” He asks as he hands over a wine glass. She looks up immediately.

“Yes, of course.”

Caleb smiles wide.

“He’s great. He’s charming and has a good job and he’s obviously crazy about you.”

“Ha. Obviously. Yeah right. I don’t think he’s made eye contact with me all night.”

“Gee.” She rolls her eyes. “I wonder why?”

“Why?” Caleb slaps his hand down on the counter in exasperation. “I don’t get it. I don’t know what I did. I was kind of an ass in the car but he should be used to that by now and I thought we got over it.”

“Caleb, honestly, you brought that boy all the way here, to meet your family, and you introduced him as your friend.”

“He is my friend.”

“Sweetheart, he is more than that and we all know it.”

“That’s why he’s upset?”

“Yes. How would you feel if he introduced you to his father as his friend. He’s your boyfriend, Caleb.”

“We haven’t used that word. I didn’t want to assume.”

“He and I had a long chat while you were banished to the living room. I think it’s safe to say that you can assume.” She pats his cheek and leaves the kitchen. 

Caleb finally corners Ben in the bathroom. 

“What are you doing?” Ben sighs. 

Caleb puts both hands on Ben’s face and kisses him. There’s enough force behind it to knock Ben back- he has to steady himself on the sink.

“What are you doing?” He repeats.

“I know why you’re mad at me.”

“Do you?”

“Yes. I called you my friend.”

“And it only took you three hours to figure out.” He claps Caleb on the shoulder and tries to move him back towards the door but he’s not having it. Caleb grabs the front of Ben’s shirt and twists him around so Ben’s back hits the door.

“I’m sorry.”

“You introduced me to your parents as your friend.” He points a finger into Caleb’s chest. “That bothers me. I kind of got the feeling that what you and I are doing is more than just friendly behavior. Do you have other friends like me?”

“No.”

“How am I supposed to know that? You think of me as just a friend even though it was you that pitched a huge fit when you weren’t sure that we were dating. Anna is your friend.”

“Stop.”

“Abe is your friend.”

Caleb is horrified at the thought. “Stop it now.”

“No. One friend to another you can be honest with me.”

“I love you.”

Ben blinks then shakes his head. 

“Now you stop. Shut up. You don’t get to say that just because we’re fighting and you think that’s going to make it better.”

“I’m not. I shouldn’t have called you my friend and I should have told you that sooner. Right when I figured it out.”

“When was that?”

“When you were sick and I thought I lost you. I thought you left me. I was so worried but then I was sitting there on your couch with you and you were telling me to leave because you were gross.”

“I was disgusting.”

“You were but I knew I had to stay. I had to stay because that’s what people do when they love someone. That’s who I am now. Because of you.”

Ben stares at him but there’s no way Caleb is taking it back. 

“I love you too.”

He wasn’t expecting that. “You don’t have to say that just because I did.”

“I know that and I’m not. I love you. Have since you stayed. I wanted you to go because I didn’t want you getting sick but when you stayed I was so relieved. I wanted to be near you. You made me feel better.” 

Caleb stands on his toes to kiss him.

“You talked to my mother about me?”

“I talk to everyone about you. My brother hung up on me the other day because I was talking about you so much. Do you know what I call you?”

“An asshole?”

Ben laughs and squeezes his hip and Caleb loves him. 

“Besides that?”

“I know, I know, boyfriend. You certainly fit the position. You’re nagging me like a boyfriend would.”

Ben tries to push him back but Caleb holds on.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.”

“I’m going to introduce you as my asshole from now on.”

Caleb kisses him again then mumbles against his lips. “As long as I’m yours I don’t care what you call me.”

They kiss until they can’t hear the TV in the living room behind them and Caleb forgets that they’re still in his parent’s hour.

Caleb’s hands dip low. Ben catches them then pushes Caleb back.

“Not here.” He hisses but let’s Caleb lean in and kiss his jaw.

“Come on. No one has to know. Plus this is how it all started, in a bathroom.”

Ben scoffs. “So romantic.”

Caleb moves down his jaw and it’s so easy to get caught up but Caleb’s family is suddenly yelling at the TV and Ben is shoving him towards the door.

“Fine, fine. Be a prude.”

“Hey.” Ben protests and reels him back in by the front of his shirt. “Later.” 

Caleb is looking forward to it.

**Author's Note:**

> I named the bakery Caleb usually goes to Marquis because I think Brian plays Lafayette as an adorable French Croissant.


End file.
